- Don't stand here. What did I tell you? Move! Cry somewhere else, I don't want to see your face.
- Pyrasiet! that is what she is, she is good for nothing just like her mother.
Sofia was standing close to the window, watching the backyard, as memories from a long time ago overwhelmed her. As she was seeing those images from the past, tears started fleeing her eyes. And very quietly she whispered: quiet, quiet, you can do this, you are strong Sofia, you can handle this.
- What are you doing Damian asked, as he entered the room.
- Nothing, just watching the clouds, She said, as she quickly dried up her tears.
Damian walked towards the window.
- Why are you crying then?
- I am not crying, just let it be.
- Why are you always hiding it Sofia? It's not healthy you know.
- I am not hiding anything, I just want to be alone.
- Why? So you can jump out of the window?
- Don't be ridiculous Damian!
- Well first they cry then they jump, that's how suicide works.
- I am fine, Sofia whispered as she left the room.
Damian stood there, wondering why his sister did what she did and what was causing it. He did not understand why Sofia was behaving like that and it was bugging him.
In the living room Sofia saw Alexandra reading a book. She slowly joined Alexandra on the couch.
-Hi dear, something wrong? Alexandra asked.
- No, everything is fine, just want to spend some time with you.
- How thoughtful of you.
- I will be quite, you can read your book, Sofia said.
- No, tell me what's up? Alexandra asked
- Come on, what happened?
- Really nothing, I was just looking out of the window in my room, when some memories crushed on me.
- What kind of memories?
- Nothing serious, just some stuff from the time when Damian and I lived at grands house, but I am really tired I will go to bed, Sofia said as she went to the stairs.
- Wait, just remember, you can tell me anything, I will always support you, Alexandra said.
- Yes, I know mom, Sofia said, as she went upstairs.
As Alexandra was sitting on that couch, a lot went through her mind. She couldn't read the book anymore. She had to find out what made Sofia upset. She stood up and called Damian.
- Damian! Come down for a second.
- What is it mom? Damian asked as he went down the stairs.
- Something is bothering Sofia, do you know what it is?
- Nah, I asked her, she wouldn't tell me.
- Well she said it's about what happened at grands house when you lived there for a few years.
- Grands house, is she referring to how grandma treated us ?
- How did she treat you then?
- Well she called us names, bad names and always shouted and even hit Sofia a few times. Is that what's bothering her? That was soo long time ago.
- Why haven't you told me before? Alexandra asked, as she sat down.
- Why would we? You had already enough suffering, knowing that we were unhappy would make you only suffer more.
- Well I could have done something, taken you somewhere else.
- Mom, there was nothing you could do about it. Just please don't go all emotional on me now. One Annabel is already enough.
- What do you expect me to do, to hear this and be fine? How could I, I am your mother.
- We are fine now, everything that doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Sofia will be okay tomorrow, you will see.
- Okay, just go to bed Damian then, Alexandra said.
-Oke, good night!
Damian went back upstairs.
Alexandra sat on that couch all night, thinking about what Damian said. How could she hate them so much, her own grandchildren, she wondered. That night was the longest night in a long time for Alexandra. She thought of all the suffering her poor children had been through and even more she realised how much pain they kept a secret all this time. Alexandra did her best to make them strong and prepare them for life, but as she heard Annabel’s cries and saw Sofia’s hidden pain, all she could do was to blame the one that was truly responsible for all of it. The one that shaped them all.